The Search for Authenticity

"Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them."

You know the saying, You don't know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes? Well, in my case it's, You don't know a person until you've come across their blog. I've read my share of blogs, either by people I know or complete strangers, and the one thing that never fails to amaze me is how they're able to reveal their deepest thoughts and feelings, unafraid to be judged or scrutinized by those around them. Maybe you think that it's no big deal or don't care at all but to me, it's something truly admirable and beautiful at the same time.

In my short life of 21 years I've struggled to maintain this reputation I've built for myself, this image I portray myself to be to others. I've shown various sides to different people; however, I have never been able to break down this wall completely. I guess you could say that I was scared and perplexed about how people would see me once they saw who I really was. (*Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns) It wasn't until my trip to Korea that I could feel myself slowly but surely letting my guard down and being more comfortable in showing my flaws and weaknesses. To Beky, Resa and Paul oppa: thank you for caring, encouraging and accepting, and for telling me the truth about things even when I didn't want to hear it - I'll always be grateful.

Up until this week, I never really noticed just how self-concious I am about how others see me. I always thought (perhaps convinced) myself that I didn't care but in reality, why should I? If the people I consider as friends cannot accept my honesty and imperfections, then are they really worth my time?

So the point is I just want to become a person who isn't lying to herself or simply hiding her feelings. I desire to be someone who is confident in displaying her true colours and one who is unafraid to be overwhelmingly herself.