Luckiest Girl Alive

There were several occasions in the past when I thought to myself, "I must be the luckiest girl alive" but lately it's become an everyday event.

It wasn't until my falling apart period last March when I truly understood the importance and meaning of family and friendship. Hitting rock bottom is the most scariest thing that could happen and I honestly hope that none of you ever get to that point. As I wallowed up in my pain and distanced myself from everyone, I stopped going to church and school and gave up on myself completely. But you know what? During that time, my family and closest friends never gave up on me. There were times when my family became frustrated and angry with me and my situation yet they were still there, unconditionally supporting me. Coming out of denial was probably the one of the hardest things I've done and seeing my family worried and helpless hurt me more than you could imagine. Even now 6 months later, I still get scared that I might fall back into that deep hole but I have this sense of peace within me that's telling me that I'll be okay. I'm broken and vulnerable and I'm ready to go back to God. No more running away in the opposite direction, I just want my heart back.

Help me God, I need to get back right with you / I want my heart again, to run hard after You [Heart Back - Namesake]

To the Newbern girls I've grown up with for the past 14 years, thank you for sharing your lives with me. I cherish all the times we've had together and I'm so happy to see the things that God's doing in your lives.

The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

Originally having told very few people about my condition, I feel more relieved writing it all out. Some say hitting rock bottom helps you find yourself and changes your direction in life. It also makes you grow to appreciate the things you have.