Breakaway

The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations. - Eli Khamarov

The past few months have been a whirlwind. The other morning as I was talking with my mom I realized just how much I've changed in this short amount of time. While I told her about my dreams and realizations, I wondered just what had caused me to change... then it hit me. About 3 months ago, I went back to church. There was a time last year when I thought I didn't need anyone or anything and believed that I had everything under control, that I could make myself happy. But when I took full control, things began to go wrong - school was going horrible, I became distant from my friends and family, and I lost myself. I kept to myself and ignored the people around me since I couldn't come to grips with my own failures and I didn't want to shatter the image others had of me. However, after much persuasion from my family, I decided I would try to attend church once again. And eventually things began to look up. My motivation returned, relationships were rebuilt and I was given 2nd chances to make things right. I am truly blessed. And when I look back at everything that has happened in the past year, one thought always remains - God is faithful.

June marked the beginning of my experiences with life's unexpectedness. I admit I don't always enjoy it but I believe that this is all part of the learning experience. I've also realized that I really like my life here - all these years I've been waiting for an opportunity to move away and start fresh but the real reason was that I wanted to get away from everything that frustrated me. I never gave certain people a chance and now that I have, I realize just how important friendship and church family are. I've gotten to know newer friends better and have grown closer to my older friends whom I'm always grateful for - they're always there willing to listen and to share life's chaos with me. I've got such good friends who remind me to pray and to leave everything to God, and who encourage and pray for me; I really cannot thank them enough. So much has happened over the course of the past few weeks that it feels like I haven't been myself. I've done so many 180's that I think now is the time to let it go and let God take control.