A Fresh Approach

It's been about 5-6 months since I last worked 30+ hours per week.  I spent 2011 chilling, travelling - and when I finally decided it was time to look for work, God blessed me with a position almost immediately.  I was excited to start after hearing of all the possibilities I'd be given during the interview - paid language lessons, a chance to do some marketing.  A month in, I discovered that I couldn't see where I'd be moving towards and if I were to change positions in the college, realistically it'd take me 2-3 years like most of my other coworkers.  I began to despise my position along with its tedious tasks and unequal workload among my colleagues.  Moreover, my depression kicked in (again) and for the next few months, I'd call in sick as many times pushing away guilt and replacing it with self-preservation reasoning.  So while I told others that I had quit due to desire to change fields/careers, dislike of managements/tasks, and no challenge/personal growth, I never told them it was actually affecting my well-being - the stress wasn't as much from my workplace but it was from external factors, my surroundings and my allowance to let them affect me.  So where does that leave me now?

Half the time, I'm usually sleeping in (when I don't need to work) and when I'm awake, I can be found perusing fashion & lifestyle blogs in my Google Reader and catching up on the newest vlogs and beauty tutorials on Youtube.  I always wondered if all those 'wasted' hours were as pointless as people believed yet little did I know that they actually did me good.  How else would I have known the Pantone colour of the year is Tangerine Tango or who Chan Luu is?  And now that I've started my internship, all this knowledge is spilling out and it's registering in my mind.  More importantly though, this internship came exactly at the right time.  I was saved and blessed again by God's grace.  It happened so quickly yet ever so smoothly (it still amazes me).  One moment I was crawling through darkness, and the next a small window of hope appears.  But I know the journey is long and there are battles to be fought, so I can't get too comfortable; it's my turn to make a move.

I'm undeserving of these opportunities but I will do my very best for the one who gives me strength.

New goals are in order but I'll save that for tomorrow.  Blogging daily might just be one of them :)